APOLOGIES FOR THE DELAY FLOPPERS
With all the abysmal, floppy Super Bowl commercials, Kim’s ASS shot was one for the AGESS, giving all of us one for the Spank Bank. Thanks Kim you made my pre- bedtime ritual that much better :).
In all everything about Superbowl XLV was a fail or flop, besides well the game itself.
1) National Anthem mishap and performance: Was it just me or did Christina Aguilera look out of it during her performance. She not only messed up the lyrics but her voice was just not there…FLOPPP
2)Joe Buck and Troy Aikman announcing…FLOPPPP: I have no idea what the Fox execs saw in either of these two to hire them as “announcers” out of all things. They are flat out boring, and I honestly was falling in and out of sleep throughout the game (or that might be b/c I ate 40 wings, whatever). Joe and Troy should call up Barrett Robbins and all live together in Tijuana where they can all Scissor each other because we know Joe Buck is down.
3) Super Bowl Commercials…FLOPPP: Most of the commercials sucked. Ford what is NY about you, and Eminem I thought you don’t do commercials?
4) Halftime Show.….FLOPPPP, Kill yourselves.: Black Eyed Peas gave me a black eye just watching them. They all sucked, and they needed Slash to try to save them. Check out the article below about Fergie-Ferg (give it up like your addiction Ferg).
5) 400 Ticket Holders Not Seated. …Yet another JERRY JONES FLOPPPPP: Imagine acquiring a ticket to the Super Bowl, planning your whole weekend around the game, taking a plane to Dallas, and THEN not being allowed to SEE IT. Well with Jerry Jones behind an operation, everything and anything is possible. Jerry decided to sell tickets to 1,250 seats that were not yet “ready” for the game. So 800 people were relocated, leaving 400 out of seating. WAY TO GO JERRY.
6) Celebrity Sightings…FLOPPPP well besides A Fraud: From John Madden texting, to George W. Bush still looking for Osama Bin Laden, these sightings sucked. If it wasn’t for A Rod being Fed, HILARIOUS, this would have been a major flop.
In all the Super Bowl was flat out FLOPPY. Thanks to Roger Goodell and Jerry Jones for putting together a true Spectacle.
Everyone’s favorite white rapper Marshall Mathers A.K.A Eminem made his first commercial appearance during the Super Bowl yesterday, and while this doesn’t really particularly fall into the “Sports” category, I just had to share this.
Considering it did take place during the Super Bowl I felt it was appropriate to share for you Flops.
Now listen closely to the tough guy in this commercial, declaring his “Needs” for commercials, etc. At the end of the commercial Eminem says “That is why I don’t do commercials”
I’m sure all the gangster wanna-bes enjoyed this, now it gets better.
About 20 minutes later, or 2 breaks, a Chrysler commercial airs and who is it in the vehicle trying to scare your kids? ….. None other than Mr. Mathers.
Hypocrite much? ….. check it out!
Fergie and Christina Aguilera, how could you go wrong?
Last Night, during the Super Bowl that question was answered, and the astounding answer is….easily.
Christina got the night started with her amazing rendition of “The National Anthem” Christina did SO WELL that she decided to even make her own REMIX of it.
These are the Real Lyrics of the song,
“Oh, say can you see by the dawn’s early light What so proudly we hailed at the twilight’s last gleaming? Whose broad stripes and bright stars thru the perilous fight, O’er the ramparts we watched were so gallantly streaming? And the rocket’s red glare, the bombs bursting in air, Gave proof through the night that our flag was still there. Oh, say does that star-spangled banner yet wave O’er the land of the free and the home of the brave?”
Boring right? I say the same. So Christina wanted to change things up a bit, take a listen.
Instead of “O’er the ramparts we watched, were so gallantly streaming,” Christina sang “What so proudly we watched at the twilight’s last gleaming.”
All that being said, what I personally was most frustrated with was Christina’s weight gain. Cmon girl you used to be a dime, now your about .87 cents, time to invest in some Shakeweights.
On to Ferg-ilicious. Girl what was up with that outfit? Your pitch, and SLASH? CMON NOW.
I’m a Fergie fan, she is sexy no question and not hating on the show, (as We at FloppingOut watched the Halftime show on MUTE anyway) and believe me, I saw the videos and heard the highlights or lowlights (your call) MUTE was your best friend(We wouldn’t blame you if you watch the WHOLE game on MUTE, Hello Mr. Buck and Mr.Aikman)
So I sat there waiting and hoping for a repeat of the famous event that happened last time the Super Bowl was in the state of Texas, you know Janet Jackson’s “Wardrobe Malfunction”. I mean Fergie you’re in Dallas you couldn’t even upstage the famous Dallas Cowgirl Cheerleaders. Show some titty girl!
Now the Light show and dancing were great. Very futuristic BUT I was tuned into to see some Fergie-Ferg.
Oh yeah and before we go, don’t try to do Axl Rose, bang Slash if you have to but leave the singing to Axl.
CONGRATS to the all the Cheeseheads out there and of course the Green Bay Packers. Green Bay accomplished their goals in Dallas, winning their 4th Super Bowl and the Steelers are officially “Cheese Wiz” (Lil Wayne voice). More so, thumbs up to Mike McCarthy for preparing his team and calling a great game offensively.
The Green Bay Packers threw the ball 39 times vs 13 runs, and that is exactly how you beat the Pittsburgh Steelers. The Steelers strength is their ability to tackle extremely well and stop the run. Yes their pass rush with Woodley and Harrison is tough to manage but if you can get rid of the pigskin fast, as Aaron Rodgers does, you can exploit areas of their secondary. Believe it or not, at times even Polamalu is suspect in coverage.
On the other side, the Steelers uncharacteristically ran the ball 19 times to 40 pass attempts. Now I understand that the Steelers were down 14-0 after the first quarter and 21-3 in the 2nd, so they were trying to score points fast, but I think against a team like Green Bay you need to run the ball regardless. Green Bay has a great secondary that makes plays and a pass rush that gets after it, and if you throw the ball 40 times you play right into their strength. And for the record that Tramon Williams is something. Everyone talks about Charles Woodson, who by the way will be a first ballet HOFer after getting his first ring, but when Woodson was hurt it was Tramon who stepped it up big time alongside Sam Shields and Nick Collins (pick 6). At the end of the day Green Bay just made more big plays than Pittsburgh.
Black and Yellow had 3 turnovers, one of which was a TD, to Green Bays’ 0. However, Pittsburgh did have more yards (387 to 338), first downs (19 to 14), time of possession (33:25 to 26:35) and even better efficiency rates on third down (53% to 46%) and in the redzone (66% to 50%), but Big Plays in Big Games wins you championships.
Aaron we are happy for you here at FloppingOut. How does it feel to bring Green Bay a Super Bowl in less time than it took “God on Earth” Brett Favre. You even won a Super Bowl MVP (Brett never did that HAHA). Now all you have to do is send a chick a picture of your penis AND TESTICLES (Favre only did penis) and you will officially be a better man than Brett Favre.
A Rod you really are the man. We absolutely adore you here at FloppingOut. No Way are we cool or important enough to get fed by a woman, especially CAMERON DIAZ. A Rod if you are looking for personal assistants to clean your shoes while you walk, or even wipe your ass (you don’t need to be doing that you’re A ROD) Contact Us.
We’re just under 24 hours away from the big game, and what better way to get you ready then to give you the OFFICIAL FLOPPINGOUT “Top 10 Super Bowl Fails.”
Lets Get It…
#10 – “The Super Bowl Shuffle” The infamous 1985 Bears were one of the best teams in history, from a furious defense to their Hall of Fame RB “Sweetness” Walter Payton. Not only is this video a fail of the man law, it shows that the Bears’ Swag on the Field didn’t transfer to the their swag on the Dance Floor. Not to mention it’s also a fail that this once dominant team only managed to win ONE Super Bowl.
#9- “Rich Gannon’s performance in Super Bowl XXXVII” The MVP of that season had statistically one of the WORST Super Bowl’s ever. Gannon Throw 5 Interceptions, 3 of which were returned for Touchdowns. Wow, Spotting the other squad 21 points is a great plan for winning the Super Bowl. The Raiders would lose that game 48-21 to the Tampa Bay Buccaneers.
#8- “Tim Tebow’s Abortion Commercial” Timmy may never make the Super Bowl as a QB, but he managed to squeak his way into last years with his “God’s Best Christian Complex” commercial. Now with all the money “Timmy” is bringing Momma, you can bet your ass Momma’s happy she didn’t get her abort on. Question: shouldn’t Urban Meyer be in this video?
#7- “Janet Jackson’s Titty Flash” Super Bowl XXXVIII(2004) was noted for a controversial halftime show in which Janet Jackson’s Titty was exposed by Justin Timberlake for about half a second, in what was later referred to as a “wardrobe malfunction”. Yea Ok, I say Janet just wanted to show off her new Boob Job, either way nice Rack Janet.
#6- “Kevin Dyson, 1 Yard short” The infamous play happened in a Super Bowl XXXIV, played between the St. Louis Rams and the Tennessee Titans in 2000. It resulted in Titans WR Kevin Dyson being tackled by Rams LB Mike Jones at the one-yard line, preserving a 23–16 Rams win. C’mon Kev, can’t man up for ONE MORE YARD.
#5- “Eugene Robinson UnderCover Hooker” The night before Super Bowl XXXIII between the Falcons and Broncos, Falcons DB Eugene Robinson was arrested for offering a hooker $40 for a “Mickey Mantle Blowie.” That hooker actually turned out to be an undercover cop. Eugene was arrested blueballs and all. Unfortunately for the Falcons, Eugene was allowed to play the next day. That Super Bowl was one to forget when Eugene allowed a 80-yard TD to Broncos WR Rod Smith, and missed a big tackle on a long Terrell Davis run.
#4- “Donovan McNauseous” D-Nabb finally got over the NFC Championship hump, and faced the New England Patriots in Super Bowl XXIX. The game was as tight as Lawrence Taylor’s last trick. On the final drive down 24-21 with no time-outs, the heat got to McNabb. As reported by the Philadelphia Inquirer McNabb was throwing up on the sidelines in between plays. Oh Boy.
#3- “Leon Lett Showboating into a Fumble” In Super Bowl XXVII late in the 4th quarter, Lett recovered a fumble on Buffalo’s 45-yard line and ran it back towards the end zone. When he reached the 10-yard line, Lett’s floppy ass started showboating and stretched the ball outward. Little did Floppy Lett know, Bills WR Don Beebe was right behind him. Beebe knocked the ball out of Lett’s floppy hand as it just crossed the goal line, which sent the ball through the end zone, resulting in a touchback. This play would be #1 had the Bills actually won the game, but IT IS THE BILLS after all.
#2- “The Buffalo Bills” Normally we like to select a single event, or player but in the Bills case losing 4 frigging straight Super Bowls is damn near impossible. Theres not much more to say about the feat. Whether it was Thurman Thomas’ fumbles, or the famous Scott Norwood “No good! Wide right!”(Al Michaels voice). The Bills 4 game streak will NEVER be topped, and we hope it NEVER does cause it is too damn funny.
#1- Drum-role please……. “Raiders C Barrett Robbins DISAPPEARS” It was Super Bowl XXXVII and the Oakland Raiders were set to face the Tampa Bay Buccaneers. The stage was set for a great game, a major storyline and all that comes with the Big Game but the only thing missing was RAIDERS CENTER BARRETT ROBBINS. Barrett was missing for two days, the team was unable to get in touch with him, and teammates feared the worst. Robbins eventually admitted he left Sand Diego without his phone, or wallet to go party in Tijuana. When he resurfaced the night before the game he was so incoherent that coach Bill Callahan had no choice but to leave him off the roster. Robbins was quoted saying: “I was in a very bad state of mind at that point,” Robbins said. “In my mind we had already won the Super Bowl and we were already celebrating.” Wow Barrett you are CRAZY, and next time you are trying to party in Tijuana, Hit Us Up.
Well there you have it, that’s our list. As you can tell some crazy stuff goes down during, and prior to the Super Bowl. Here’s to Big Ben Roethlisberger staying out of Downtown Dallas Bar Bathrooms tonight!
Enjoy your “Super Sunday” you Floppy bastards, don’t eat and drink too much leave that to FloppingOut.
As Gilbert Arenas headed into the locker room during halftime of the Miami Heat game something very unexpected happened to the “Hibachi”. No an injury didn’t mysteriously appear on Arenas, rather Gilbert was handed both custody and child support papers. Gilbert’s ex-girlfriend Laura Mendoza Govan filed claims against Gilbert, claiming that he “financially cut off” his three kids. Gilbert now owes $1.3 million per year ($109,000 monthly) in child support payments. In the words of Nick Spano, Laura “you want another one?”
Gilbert responded, “Everything I say is reaction for something I did…She got served, so now she wants to say something on TV, that’s all it is. I don’t pay attention to it. My lawyer said I can take it because … it’s just reactions to reactions.” Whatever that means Hibach. Next time just threaten Laura with a gun, she may not pursue you as relentlessly.